I am not really sure where to begin with what has been going on in my life. I will try to sort things out in a cohesive manner. First of all, I am not feeling the Christmas music yet, people. This is something that I need to ease into. I just came back from the No Shave November/Ugly Sweater Christmas party. I donned a very Bill Cosby-esque sweater. I feel as though I rocked it. You know, because that is how I roll. (It is funny, the entire time I had this strange urge to eat pudding. Go figure.)
I was unable to go home for Thanksgiving because of the weather. I know that I probably could have still made it, but my mom really stresses when I am driving, so we agreed that it was not worth the risk to try to make it home to my home, sweet home, North Dakota. So Kansas got to spend Thanksgiving with me. While I stayed on the nearly empty campus all of the long weekend, I was welcomed in to one of my professors’ house. I spent Thanksgiving with his family at his parent’s house, actually. It was great. They fed me terrific food. Even though I was incredibly sad (let’s just say I cried so much I had to wear my glasses and my eye skin got so dry that it started to sting), I was not alone. Nor am I ever alone. It didn’t really help that when I called my mom, she told me about how they were watching James Bond movies. After all, watching James Bond movies is our family’s Thanksgiving tradition. You don’t need to tell us that we are the coolest family around. We know it. And we’re humble.
So all that to say that I spent a lot of time by myself this weekend. I wrote a paper about emotional health and the church’s role. I did a lot of listening to sermons by Francis Chan. I did a lot of reading and various things. Also, I feel as though I did a lot of thinking and spending time with God. It is weird how sometimes it takes you being all alone to realize how much you need God. By weird, I mean sad and sort of pathetic.
Then some news came to me that made me revert back to my fourth grade self. All of these feelings that were exactly the same that I felt in a situation in fourth grade. It involves friends, but I will not go into many details. At the end, both in fourth grade and now, I was alone. At least I felt very alone. I felt very left out. The difference was that in fourth grade, I had two other friends who were still there for me, even when my other two friends left me. We shared hot chocolate and popcorn. This time, I still was not alone, in fact, I am extremely blessed that I have the people I have in my life. First of all, I have grown to appreciate my mom so much more lately. My roommate is the seriously my best friend. I am not sure what I would do without her. Another person who I can call my friend is my RA from last year, she is such a beautiful woman of God and she has such a kind heart and whenever she sees I have a problem, she listens. I suppose in a way, being blessed with great people has been my hot chocolate and popcorn.
Most of all, through everything, I was reminded that God is always there. I preached (though I don’t think I did that great of job) a sermon on Joseph in youth group recently. The point was that God is always with you. Even when things are not going the way you wanted or expected, God is right there. I think I really needed to be reminded that God is there. I do not know why that is something I so easily forget. Not only that, but I can finally say (again) that I am content with the ways things are in my life. Sometimes it is hard when I am around people who have guys to talk to or around people that did way better on a test than I, but I know that despite everything that happens, God is in control. I have more of a peace now than ever. The funny thing is that I am saying that, despite the fact that my To-Do list is longer than ever and finals are approaching quickly and it is almost the end of the semester crunch time. I have a peace in my life. My God is greater and He is in total control of my life.