Desirable

I remember sitting across an office desk from one of my professors (who, by the way, I also would like if he could magically become my grandpa) and he told me something that I can’t forget. I can’t necessarily take hold of it as truth quite yet, but I can’t forget it, either. He looked at me and said, “You are loved, you are desirable, you are precious.”

Okay, well, that’s nice. Thanks, Professor Grandpa. I can take the loved part. I’ve felt loved before, I accept it. I can even take being precious. I mean, my mom calls me Princess, so I guess being precious makes sense. But desirable? I think you’ve gone a little bit too far. I don’t think that’s true. Pass. Next. What else you got?

But I hear God saying something to me. Andra, you are desirable.

Thanks, God, but I don’t think I believe you.

The problem is you are looking at it all wrong.

Excuse me, God, but not you, too. Are you about to tell me that I am not deep enough, too? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.

Andra, you are not desirable because of other people who may or may not desire you.

Yeah, God, may NOT is the key word.

Andra. You are desirable because I desire you.

All this time (especially this past month), I have been pursuing something with someone who, yeah, is cute, but I have been missing something that is too important to miss. And while I was sitting across from him at Starbucks last night as he was explaining that we weren’t connecting and it wasn’t going anywhere and I told him that I could take a hint and then the night just turned weird and I exploded on him about how they are not called “kleenex” but are actually just tissues because for all he knew they could be Puffs and that he would become Paul. After all that, I think the realization finally came to me. I have been pursuing him, when really, I should have been pursuing God. If I would have only opened my eyes I could have seen that God has been pursuing me this entire time and I have been too busy and not focused to realize it.

So, yes, I am single. But I am not alone. And, yes, I am desirable. But not because of anyone wanting to date me (or, in my case, NOT wanting to date me). I am desirable because this entire time God has been there pursuing me and telling me that I am desirable in His eyes.

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