Lack-of-Focus Friday

Just because I think I am getting over you, don’t think that means I want to fill a water balloon with egg yolks and throw it at your head any less. Yes, I said egg yolks in a water balloon. Yes, that’s right; I want to throw egg yolks in a water balloon at you. At your head, especially. And, yes, I realize that I have bad aim. But I am like totally sort of whatever about it. (Which, by the way, Anne Lamott feels is a very profound spiritual stance—to be totally sort of whatever about something.) Anyway, the main reason that I want to start throwing egg yolk water balloons is because we are both wearing sweaters that look like oatmeal, and because of a conversation at Starbucks, we will never be that cute, oatmeal-sweater-wearing couple.

I have, thusly, concluded that denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are not the five stages of grief. Instead I really think the five stages of grief are: 1) Eating brownies, 2) Buying new shoes, 3) Crying, 4) Wanting to throw egg yolk water balloons, and then 5) Taking it all to Jesus.

There are many things that I am learning, but one of them is about loneliness. I actually sort of (at least part of me does) rejoice in the fact that I am lonely, because it keeps bringing me to a place where I am longing for God. It keeps me hungry to learn more about God and keeps me coming back to my knees in prayer. Also, I have been digging me some Jeremiah lately.

I am telling you all this because I thought that writing a blog would give me a break from checking my cell phone in two-minute increments. I am really just not able to focus for a couple of reasons: a) It is Friday and Friday in all its Fridayness makes me want to go outside and click my heels together, b) I have a 40% off coupon for Border’s, which I just cannot let go to waste, and c) we went to Chick-fil-A for my Introduction to Preaching class for no other reason than we could, which killed my focus for the rest of the day. I was focused for my first class period of the day (okay, so partly focused—so what if I started planning out future outfits in my head?) and for an entire hour-long ministry meeting where somebody from Clergy Development came to talk to us (which I found really interesting).

I should be tested for ADHD. (That’s the politically correct term for it now, right?) But, even though I spent five minutes realizing how fun it was to drink out of my water bottle sideways, at least I still meet deadlines.


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