Can I just tell you that I am a little weirded out by the fact that the same boy who scratched my name (spelled wrong, but still) with a plus sign followed by his name on the back of the slide at the local park is currently engaged? How did this happen? And should I have jumped at him when I had the chance? Ha. Just kidding. I am totally happy for him. Still, I have to admit, it is weird to think about anyone my age getting married. I don’t know why, I know a lot of people my age getting married and having babies. But, people, I am only nineteen. I digress.
Today in chapel, we had three people share parts of their stories. I think it is always so powerful when we can hear how God is using brokenness and turning it into a beautiful story of redemption and restoration. However, if I were to be completely honest with you, I would admit how I was/am sometimes a little offended that nobody ever asks me to share or tell my story in chapel. (“I have a good enough story,” I tell myself, “Why don’t they want me to share?”) Then it sort of just hit me:
My story is not resolved. My story has not been tied up with a nice bow. (Not that those who shared are, either. And not that stops me from sharing when I get a chance, because I do very much so believe in the importance of journeying together, even in the brokenness.) My friend leaned over and said to me, “Maybe you haven’t been asked to share because God is still working on your story.” And I know that there is a lot of truth in that statement.
I am very much so in the middle of the muddle.
I am still in the brokenness. I am still hurt. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that our life’s story will ever be tied up in a nice little neat bow. I don’t think that is how God works at all. I believe that even after we are restored and redeemed, we still get broken and hurt. However, I believe that God is still very actively working on my life. Truthfully, I believe that God really never stops working in our lives.
So, even while I am in the muddle middle (hello, I am the next Dr. Seuss), I have hope in God, who is continuing to restore and redeem. I have faith in a God who works in the middle of the muddle.