My breath currently smells bad. I know; you didn’t need to know that. But it is not my fault various cheese balls are the thing to bring to work. I don’t think a cheese ball is really a cheese ball without making your breath stink. I think it is just one of those “facts of life.” Basically, you should be happy that you are reading this blog over your computer and not having a conversation with me right now, because if you were, you would want to stand at least five feet away. Unless, of course, you were a true friend, then you would be able to talk to me and love me no matter what my breath smelled like.
In case you really want to feel as though you know me better, here is a story for you. Apparently I have allowed my ears to get really waxy without realizing it. Case in point: I talked to my mom on the phone this morning and apparently my ears have so much wax that they can no longer contain it, so I got what I can only assume is earwax on my phone’s screen. Then, in class, my friend, who was clearly disgusted, exclaimed, “What is that on your phone?” I was too embarrassed to tell her that it was probably earwax. But apparently I am not too embarrassed to tell all of the World Wide Web that story. It’s real life, people. I don’t edit my life for you; I just lay it all out there for you to get to disgusted or not. It is up to you.
Earwax basically sums up my life lately. I am not sure how, but I will stretch it until it applies somehow. I woke up this morning only to realize that all my electronic devices needed charging. My laptop: needed charging. My iPod: needed charging. My iPad: needed charging. My phone: actually, I charged my phone overnight (but that is so not the point). I have let my life’s battery die and it needs to be recharged just like my electronic devices. I am involved in relationships that sometimes drain me, and I have let myself just get weak and weary. I have let myself get taken by a tidal wave and I’ve been pulled in the undertow (does that make any sense? I am not up on my ocean lingo). My point is that I have not been intentional about restoring myself. However, when I am the most empty, I know the One who fills me. The Living Water: Jesus. And that’s really a great thing, because I have a relationship with someone who died and was resurrected so that I can live in the newness of life every day! (That needed an exclamation point!)
I think sleepless nights and tear-stained pillows bring us closer to Jesus. Life is not easy. There will be times when you are in the hospital and all you want to do is take away the pain from your friend. There will be times when you feel your conversation is so pointless and dumb, but sometimes talking about nothing is better than dwelling on the tough things that you cannot change. There will also be times when you are locked outside of your car, in the rain. However, I have good news. Because even in those times when it is hard to see the joy, the light, the goodness, there is someone who is reaching out his hand, saying: “Here I am. I am your rest.” After all, we wouldn’t need to come to God to be mended if we weren’t broken.
How is any of that about earwax? Well, it’s really not. But I’m not mad about it.