So, basically, twenty is not too old to still feel exactly like I did when I was in seventh grade. Go figure. Of course, your self-esteem would probably take a beating too if you lived with all adorable and athletic and out-going people. I just want to point out that unlike seventh grade, I no longer have to wear glasses (I’ve since discovered the wonder of contacts) and my hair is no longer noticeably shorter on one side compared to the other (although I guess I’m not entirely sure about that, but I’m assuming since my last hair cut was done by a professional, it probably at least isn’t noticeably different lengths).
I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but my biggest fear two years ago when I was starting college wasn’t whether or not I’d do well in my classes or whether or not I’d find that M. R. S. degree, it was whether or not I’d have anyone to sit with at lunch. Turns out, two years later, I still freak out when I don’t know if I will have anyone to sit with at lunch. Suddenly I’m like seventh-grade Annie (who, by the way, never worried about who to sit with at lunch because I’m from a school town and all my friends growing up were my friends from the time we were all in my mother’s wombs practically). I’m like a turtle who wants to live in a shell. I know it’s not attractive to be this honest. I know how attractive confidence is. But, let’s face it: I have days where my self-esteem is low and my confidence is hiding somewhere (maybe under my bed or in my closet).
It’s days like these when I think I need reassurance from others, but I know that I really just need to remind myself about the truths that I know God can speak into me, if only I learn to listen. I need to live like I really believe these to be true. And I know they are true for you as well.
You’re wanted. You matter. You are beautifully and wonderfully made.
You’re forgiven. You’re loved.
You’re blessed even when you’re down and out. You are chosen and called into a holy priesthood. You’re free from the chains that held you.
You’re provided for, just like the birds of the air. You can have security in Christ.
You’re empowered and irreplaceable. You’re valuable.
You’re precious and desirable.
I know I need to remind myself of these things. These truths that God says, not the lies the world whispers. Not the lies the cover of Cosmo whispers. I will probably need to remind myself of these things over and over again the next couple of weeks. Even pretty people are just people. It’s time I start living into who I’m called to be.
It’s time I start living as the child of God, pursued, redeemed, comforted, victorious daughter of the King that I am. I am my beloved and He is mine. I’m never alone and I’m His forever.