Strong Enough

I’ve had classes on counseling and yet, nothing I’ve learned has prepared me for the moments of the darkest brokenness. I’ve learned how to mirror body language and encouragingly nod my head, but still I am finding myself lying on the floor of the dorm room with her and repeating the phrase “centering breathing” and rambling about how I cannot pronounce “Deepak Copra” correctly and what I’ve learned from Dr. Oz.

Sometimes they aren’t really words.

I mean, there are always words. I can ramble and ramble until no end. But there are no words that would make a difference, or that would change anything. Because in the end, he is still dead and she is still feels empty and alone.

I’ve learned about pastoral care, but I think sometimes the only thing to do is just be there. Be there in the brokenness and the tears that make your makeup run until you look like a raccoon that jumped in a pool of black ink. Just be there. Even if it takes a ten-hour drive. You just need to be there. That’s not really something that you can be taught, it’s something that you just have to learn.

There will be times when you think you won’t be strong enough to continue facing the days, but I want to tell you that you are. You are strong enough because you know the One who is strong enough. There is a strength given you by the Spirit. Don’t ignore that and don’t underestimate that.

You are strong enough.

The tears are overwhelming. The darkness seems to cover everything. But you are strong enough to be more alive than just fake smiles. You are strong enough.

There is no timeline for grieving, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But, even still, you are strong enough today. You don’t have to wait until you’ve “moved on” or “gotten over it,” because you will probably never completely get over it. You will have memories that will stay with you and taunt you right when you think you have it all together.

You are strong enough.

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. But the LORD has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.” -Psalms 94:18-19, 22

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