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The worst part about Kansas is that it is so far away from North Dakota. I’ve had people ask me before, “What’s in North Dakota?” I can’t really say that there is all that much in North Dakota, and there is probably even less in my hometown. But there is something in North Dakota that no other place has: home.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt at home in Kansas and with certain people, but it is all subsets of home. My home is in North Dakota. It’s the house with the brown roof and the double stall garage with a ping pong table inside and the Crayola clock hanging above the work bench. It’s the house where I grew up, where I learned to walk and form sentences and got chicken pox and got my first dog. But, at the same time, it is all so much more than that house because home is not a building, but people.

My mom and my brother are home. My cats are home. And me? I’m not home.

I hate that I am missing so much by being so far away. I know that God has called me to this place, and honestly, I’m not sure if he will call me back to North Dakota. I know I will eventually build a home of my own and build a family there, but for right now, I am homesick.

I am missing out on the little things like watching TV together in the evening as we are all on our laptops. I am missing out on playing board games and huddling together in the basement during storms. I am missing out on our house basically starting on fire and having to spend hours in the car with the cats as the firefighters put out the smoke.

I’m praying for future good weather, which seems like a trivial thing to pray for, but I really want to be home for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for my family and that I was raised in a home that I miss and long to go back to. (And I’m also thankful that if my brother were to ever read this, my lack of proofreading and sometimes lack of any desire to have good grammar would totally make him cringe. I’m not mad about it.)

If I was any good at math, I’d start the countdown until I can make the trek home for Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I’ll just live each day with hope that it won’t be long until I’m back home.

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