I am single. I feel like I’m that perpetually single friend. While my friends are going out on dates, I’m at home with my cats and trying to master knitting (but for real, I want to learn to knit–someone teach me). Also probably we should collectively stop identifying single ladies with cat ladies. But let’s keep Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies” dance because I support that dance.
This is an actual question I’ve actually been asked by an actual teenager: “So, at what age are you going to start buying cats?”
Of course, I’ve also been asked: “At what age will you start feeling pathetic about yourself for still being single?” So, honestly, I think I’d rather be asked about cats.
But another teenager gave me this advice: Husband first, cats later.
THANKS EVERYONE, I CAN TAKE A HINT.
Seriously. It’s a good thing I am great at self-effacing humor. Anyway, we’ve established I’m single. I haven’t been married, and it’s been longer than I would like to admit that I’ve been on a date. In all honesty, I am not mad about it. I am enjoying my current season of singleness. I am only twenty-two, so I feel young.
Here’s the thing: I just graduated from a Christian university where the joke (like all Christian universities) is “ring by spring.” Within the Christian subculture, everyone my age is already married. I’m the minority to have graduated without a ring.
How do you trust God when you are single?
I feel like I only have two real options: I could be bitter and angry, but that would probably leave me being single forever. Also, I’d probably gain fifteen pounds because I imagine bitter and angry me eating lots of ice cream by the pint after 8:00 PM. So let’s rule that option out.
That leaves enjoying life and realizing single is not what defines me.
Will I admit being single is not always fun? Yes. Does it sometimes deserve a major thumbs down? Also yes. Will I let it keep me down? No. Was it really hard to attend a wedding alone? Yes. Did I let myself feel sad about it? Alright, yes, a little. But did it stop me from going? No. Should I stop asking myself questions like this? Maybe.
I am not holding onto the timeline younger me expected. I’m not going to think about how I hope I’m married by a certain age. No matter what happens, God is good. He is faithful. If I never get married, it won’t always be easy, but I’ll still seek to be faithful and bring glory to God.
Please allow me to mini-rant about something: I do not think it’s fair people assume single people can’t have nice kitchen things. I think I would use a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer more than some of my married friends anyway. Of course, I am living at home, so it’s whatever. But married people aren’t the only people who deserve nice things. If I were the kind of person who wanted fancy dishes (I don’t), I do not need to be married in order to have them. Single people need fancy dishes, too. And tons of towels. And whatever people who are getting married put on their registries.
This is a topic that needs more than one post, so I won’t get into everything all scatter-brained here. Let me conclude with this: Instead of sitting around thinking about how I’m single, I would rather just try to be as awesome as possible.