Why We Don’t Have Self-Tying Shoes: Some Thoughts on Prayer and Fasting

Since October 21, 2015 was “Back to the Future Day,” a lot of people were reflecting on why we did not have all the inventions that were shown in Back to the Future‘s imagined 2015. Of course, some posts also noted the inventions we do now have that were correctly predicted or perhaps, inspired by the movie. (So, I stand corrected: apparently thanks to Nike, we will have self-tying shoes.) Whatever the case, I am going to offer my opinion that we do not have most of these inventions simply because we determined we had better things to do with our time.

We often determine we have better things to do with our time, so we rarely take the time to pray and fast.

In order to be effective, prayer has to be the first thing we do, not the last.”

This is a quote from Eugene Peterson. I retweeted it mid-July, but it keeps replaying in my mind.

It may seem unproductive to gather together in prayer for an hour each Friday. But I think it is also the most productive I can be with my time.

When I was appointed to serve as the interim pastor, one of my board members asked me, “How will you be able to continue all that you are currently doing?” When I was appointed, it was agreed that I would continue as the youth pastor. I was on track to graduate seminary in May 2016, so I made the decision to keep my current full-time class load. I told her, “Well, I guess I will have to get really good at time management.”

As I think about how to be the best steward of my time, I can think of no better way to spend my time than beginning with prayer. I need to remain centered on God. My focus can easily shift because my mind is always thinking about the next thing, so I need to constantly refocus my attention on God. And if I am being totally honest, I am not always great at doing that.

While I fast each year during Lent, I am not a model faster. The first year I fasted something for Lent, I failed multiple times before I gave up altogether. We don’t fast so people can look at us and think, “Wow, they sure are holy.” Despite the difficulty, fasting is worth it. Fasting requires us to intentionally go without something for a particular period of time. Fasting teaches us that we are not in control of our lives. Fasting enables us to reset our lives around sustainable, life-giving practices. That is why each Friday, we are gathering at church to fast and pray.

Prayer and fasting is one of those things we can’t afford not to do. That double negative is there simply to say, we need to do this. People were already gathering on Thursday mornings to pray; our church is already available for anyone to come during the day Thursdays to pray. Why another time to gather and pray? My question is: can we really gather and pray too much? That is rhetorical, of course. “How did we start doing this prayer and fasting on Fridays?” someone asked.

Maybe it started because I knew my church was in the midst of pastoral transition, and I knew we had to seek God’s will. Maybe it started with the picture of Aylan. Maybe it started with the Refugee crisis. Maybe it started with a missionary coming to our church asking if we would be willing to give our lunch. Maybe it started the first time I prayed for God to break my heart for what breaks God’s heart. You know, I don’t know how it started. I simply know we must pray.

Maybe prayer doesn’t feel like an action enough response to all the brokenness around us. There is more we can do. I recommend this blog post from Ann Voskamp. Here is what I know to be true: I know prayer makes a difference. I have heard stories. I have been the character in stories where the climax has been: prayer worked. Prayer works.

We turn on the news, and we hear about more tragedy. All we see and hear on the news is tragedy. It is all around us. We cannot become numb to it. One way to combat becoming numb is to pray. To recenter and refocus ourselves on God and on God’s calling for us and every one of us. We are called to love and serve God and our neighbor. I need to reset my life around sustainable, life-giving practices.

Will you join me?

More Than Washing Feet

She wanted to have a foot washing ceremony. I told her she should give people warning before we do such a thing.

I know, there I was thinking about logistics and trying to make sure people were comfortable. Neither of which are bad things, but sometimes I just miss the point.

Sometimes I miss the moments that have the potential to offer us grace when we probably need it the most.

Anne Lamott writes:

Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”

Fear drives me to want order and control, but fear also sometimes keeps me from tasting life.

We were in London at a church that began to feel like family. It was summer 2012. My friend began her sermon. In the middle of speaking, she pointed out how she wanted to wash people’s feet, but I told her not to. She called me out, threw me under the proverbial bus.

Never mind that she was about to tell a story about how sacrificial I was because I would wash dishes even though I hated it. The chosen illustration was instead how I told her she couldn’t do the things that Jesus himself did.

In my defense, I never said she couldn’t do it at all. Just that she needed to give some warning. That way, people would have time to prepare their feet. You know, trim toenails and wash them first. The ladies could paint their toenails. Feet can be a sensitive issue; I thought you needed to give people the option to tap out if they wanted to.

In ministry and in life, sometimes you need to admit when you were wrong. In this case, I was wrong.

Oh, how often I completely miss the point and, in turn, miss the blessing.

When God comes to you, you don’t always have time to clean yourself up first. You simply come to experience the holy moment. In an effort to be careful, I over-analyzed and missed the blessing. How often do we over-think and miss moments that could bless us and others?

I think the entire point of washing someone’s feet is to recognize that we are connected even in our brokenness and imperfections.

I have had pastors and Christian university professors who would light a candle before class or service as a reminder that the Holy Spirit is present. Yet there is something different about the Holy Spirit’s presence when one receives the Communion elements or baptism. There is something more tangible, more palpable. The Celtics call moments when heaven and earth meet “thin places.” Thin places are places where the boundary between heaven and earth are especially thin. We cannot fully explain it, but in these thin places, we sense the divine more easily.

In Prototype, Jonathan Martin writes this:

Foot washing is perhaps the most futuristic practice of the church, though not many people really believe that. Most Christians think they are being cutting edge and futuristic when they have a busy graphic presentation running on a Mac during their worship time. Removing our shoes before one another is a jarring practice even for church people–it’s like listening to a Radiohead album in the 1950s. But precisely because it is so jarring, so unnatural, so unlike the empire of illusion created by the prince of the power of the air, it is undeniably powerful.”

I have been a part of foot washing ceremonies before (some more elaborate than others), and it has always been meaningful. It has always made an impact. This past weekend I attended a wedding ceremony where the first act the couple wanted to do as a married couple was wash one another’s feet.

In London, when Pastor George blessed our feet, I will never forget how much I felt God’s presence. He wanted to anoint our feet, which I feel is similar to washing someone’s feet. It requires certain humility to allow someone else to wash your feet–to bless you by serving you. Pastor George was a retired pastor in the church; he was someone who had already spent years serving and pastoring others, but do you ever retire from serving and blessing others? He wanted to bless us as we stepped into the next phase of our journey. After spending a summer in London, we would soon be returning home.

Martin continues:

When I feel the touch of human hands on my hairy toes and calloused soles, it is terrible in all the ways it must be for Christ Himself to touch my most unlovely places with His tenderness. Every time, the tears burn my eyes. And as my self-consciousness and self-confidence begin to crumble, it’s not just my feet that are being washed; it’s the love of God like a warm balm on a bruised and battered soul.”

Foot washing requires humility: both for the person washing someone’s feet and for the person whose feet are being washed.

I wanted people to be able to prepare themselves, but even without preparation, we have it better than the feet Jesus washed. They did not have the luxury of hand sanitizer or daily showers. They had walked miles in dust and dirt. Without socks and tennis shoes, they walked miles in dust and dirt.

Peter said to Jesus just as Jesus was about to wash Peter’s feet, “You will never wash my feet.” Oh, to miss the blessing. Jesus did so much more than wash the dirt from someone’s feet. Jesus did so much more.

Washing feet is more than just the simple act of washing the dirt from someone’s feet. Our call and instruction is to follow Jesus–do for others as he has done for us. By washing the disciples’ feet, Jesus modeled for us the ultimate act of humility and servanthood. With his life, Jesus modeled for us self-giving love. Like Jesus wanted the disciples to follow his example and be servants to the world, he wants us to do the same.

Dear Co-Learner: Some Thoughts on Christian Education

This is adapted from an assignment I submitted for one of my seminary classes. In the assignment, we had to write a multiple-week curriculum. It was a practical assignment, so at the beginning of the curriculum “packet,” we were to write a letter to whoever would be teaching using the curriculum. This is an edited version of that letter. I am posting it because I think it speaks to Christian Education as a whole.

Dear Co-Learner,

You may wonder why I addressed this letter “Dear Co-learner” instead of “Dear Teacher.” I am starting out this way because I want to establish something right from the get-go. I believe Christian Education will be the most valuable if you see yourself as a co-learner. You have knowledge and wisdom to offer your fellow learners, and I want you to share that wisdom with them. However, I also want you to be open to questions, to have your eyes widened to the possibly that bible studies and small group meetings can be more impactful than just an hour-long lecture from the “sage on the stage.” What you discuss and learn will move outside the church walls.

If you think Christian Education is nothing more than stale curriculum that does not teach students more than the “Sunday School answers” (which are: God, Jesus, pray, read the Bible), then I want to pause right now. Yes, before you move forward. I want you to repeat after me:

O Eternal God, bless [name of church], that this church may be a lively center for sound learning, new discovery, and the pursuit of wisdom; and grant that those who teach and those who learn may find you to be the source of all truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.[1]

You may need to pray this before you walk into a small group session. You may need to pray this each morning as you prepare to teach. It’s not the end-all be-all prayer, but I want to provide a starting place to remind you of the importance of new discovery. Prayer is important. It is out of prayer curriculum should be born. Henri Nouwen writes: “Prayer is first of all the realization of God’s presence in the midst of his people and, therefore, the community itself.”[2]

I believe in the power of curriculum to provide structure for lessons that will form and shape the life of learners. That will only happen if you, co-learner, are authentic. Learning happens when you are open to the Holy Spirit moving in ways that blow your expectations out of the water. I believe it is “only through the Holy Spirit’s directing and empowering us can we fulfill our calling.”[3]

I speak from my experience (short though it may be) as a youth pastor. If you are ministering to youth, there are some developmental needs that we will need to explore. There are several psychological issues that influence the development of adolescents. These issues include attachment, autonomy, identity, and self-esteem. Adolescence is considered a transitory period; their relationships with parents are transforming. They are separating from their attachment to parents, and they are striving toward greater mutuality and connectedness. The theme of identity development is extremely important. Adolescents are beginning to step outside themselves, reconsidering how others perceive them. Erik Erikson explains that adolescence provides a time of identity formation.[4]

Walter Brueggemann, theologian and biblical scholar, says that “conversion ‘means entering into a different history, embracing a different memory, and living with different promises.’”[5] I pray Christian Education will help adolescents on their journey of faith formation. Adolescents are looking for a sense of belonging, so lessons and sermons should help them begin to see how they are connected to the church and the story of God. The heart behind ministry is to engage learners in the Kingdom of God and equip them.

I believe Christian Education embraces our need for community. I believe that is also at the heart of being Wesleyan: we need community. So, do not teach these lessons alone. Incorporate parents; encourage mentors. Have people come around the lives of the students.

The word “curriculum” comes from the Latin meaning, “a course to be run.”[6] Just because it includes the word run, does not mean you need to race to the finish line. Curriculum should be designed to embrace multiple learning styles. It is mostly discussion-based, but it includes hands-on learning experiences. Some curriculum will require more preparation than others, so make sure to have time and resources to make the proper preparations.

Rabbit trails will happen. I am not saying you need to embrace every rabbit trail, but sometimes something fruitful can happen from a seemingly off-the-wall question. In the movie, 180 Degrees South, there is a quote that sticks with me: “The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.” I hope you go on a journey together and ask even more questions. We have a hunger for authenticity.[7] Encourage questions that stem from that hunger.

Encourage relevant dialogue. Do not feel the need to get students to think or answer a certain way. Recognize that education involves an understanding of dialogue not as two people talking, but “talking through.” I believe “time and places for talking through essential in forming critically aware, inner-dependent, and worthily committed faith.”[8] “Faith is: people’s evolved and evolving ways of experiencing self, others and world (as they construct them) as related to and affected by the ultimate conditions of existence (as they construct them) and of shaping their lives’ purposes and meanings, trust and loyalties, in light of the character of being, value and power determining the ultimate conditions of existence.”[9]

In her book Bittersweet, Shauna Niequist writes: “There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming.”[11] In the book she’s talking about life in your twenties, but I think this quote applies for this upcoming series. Youth ministry could probably be described as the time for “wildness.” If that’s all it is, I think we are missing the chance to develop and grow. During their developmental stage, adolescents are developing their identity. They are becoming. So have fun, but don’t feel like this needs to be a performance. Recognize this is a season of becoming. Soak up this time together.

Thank you, co-learner, for your willingness to serve in this area.

Praying for you on the journey,

Andra Kee

[1] Adapted from “31. For Schools and Colleges.” Prayers. http://www.bcponline.org/Misc/Prayers.htm.

[2] Henri Nouwen. (1998). Reaching out: a special edition of the spiritual classic including beyond the mirror. New York, NY: Doubleday.

[3] Stephen Seamands. (2006). Ministry in the image of god, the Trinitarian shape of Christian service. Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press, p. 26.

[4] Erik H. Erikson. (1968). Identity Youth and Crisis. New York: W W Norton and Company.

[5] Les Steele. “Identity Formation Theory and Youth Ministry.” Christian Education Journal 9 No. 1 (1988): 91-99.

[6] Harris, M. (1989). Fashion Me a People: Curriculum in the Church. Louisville, Ky.: Westminster/John Knox Press, p. 55.

[7] Parker Palmer. (1998). The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1998.

[8] Sharon Daloz Parks. (2000). Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in Their Search for Meaning, Purpose, and Faith. San Francisco, California: Jossey-Bass, p. 198.

[9] Fowler, J. W. (1981). Stages of Faith, the Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning. (1st ed.). New York, NY: HarperCollins.

[10] Slattery, P. (2013). Curriculum Development in the Postmodern Era. (3rd ed.). Hoboken: Routledge, p. xx.

[11] Shauna Niequist. (2010). Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Seeing Potential

There is one day in first grade that sticks out among the rest. Actually, one moment in one day. It was during our music lesson, we were learning about musical instruments. Nothing too intense—kazoos and tambourines mostly. As far as music theory goes, it was pretty foundational.

We were paired off, and I was paired with the girl in class nobody really liked. She was considered “slower” (first graders are not politically correct), and she was annoyingly loud.

For the sake of this story, I will change her name. She had a pretty unconventional name that I have no idea how to spell, so I have never been able to Facebook creep on her to see how her life has turned out. Let’s call her Topanga, because let’s be real: we could all use more Boy Meets World references in our lives.

I must have gathered all the composure and maturity a six-year-old can muster, because I remember looking her in the eye. I told her the game plan: we will be quiet, learn, and master these finger symbols.

So that’s exactly what we did.

We listened, learned about new musical instruments, and worked together.

We did not become instant best friends, but I learned that we can learn to cooperate with people who are different than we are. I did not include any thoughts of God when I included or excluded people, but I simply extended a hand to Topanga. I am not trying to over-spiritualize this experience, but I think that is maybe what the Kingdom of God could look like to a six-year-old.

I say this not to point how great of person I am. It is to point out there is potential in each person.

This has shaped how I know and understand youth ministry.

I have a classmate who always points out how hyper (he sometimes uses the term “crazy”) the students in his youth ministry are. I have never met his students, so it’s probably incredibly true that his students have a lot of energy. However, to simply label them hyper or crazy limits the potential you see in them. One could think that you need to calm someone hyper down, but what would happen if we instead tried to find ways to cultivate their potential?

Harness the hyper, if you will. (Can that be a new youth ministry slogan?)

By seeing the potential instead of seeing the problems, we are re-empowering the learners. We recognize that they have something valuable to offer.

I’ll admit it: I have a lot of room for growth as a youth pastor and Christian educator. However, it continues to be my goal to empower those involved in the youth ministry. In the midst of their random stories, I see leadership potential.

According to Strengths Finders, my top strength is “restorative.” This might be part of the reason I resist throwing away the empty glass jars of salsa from Trader Joe’s. I look at glass jars and see potential. Restorative goes a little deeper. It means I like to solve problems. I do not necessarily think there is a problem with Christian education in the church, but I am not ruling out there is potential for improvement.

As I look for ways to improve, I want to emphasize that learning is about partnership and working together. Ultimately, empowering students stems from the  realization that teachers and students have a lot to learn from each other.

Parker Palmer in his book, The Courage To Teach writes:

“I now understand what Nelle Morton meant when she said that one of the great tasks in our time is to ‘hear people to speech.’ Behind their fearful silence, our students want to find their voices, speak their voices, have their voices heard. A good teacher is one who can listen to those voices even before they are spoken—so that someday they can speak with truth and confidence.”

If you walk into the youth group room, you will notice that the chairs are set up in a circle. Do you think it’s because circles are my favorite shape in all of the geometry world? Nope. We sit in circles because it implicitly communicates that we see each other as co-learners, sharing meaning, creativity, and a common center. Since the youth group is on the small size, it is natural that our focus is often on dialogue–on exploring and learning together. That is not to say I don’t have a purpose for each lesson and activity. It is all very intentional.

Now, listen. Please do not hear me say that I looked at Topanga and told her, “You are so not living up to your full potential.” I am not saying that she was not good enough as she was in the exact moment. She was enough. To have implied that she was not good enough would have been disempowering.

An Bourmanne, in an article at Tiny Buddha, writes:

“Living up to our full potential is not trying to avoid making mistakes. It’s giving it our all, wholeheartedly, with all we’ve got.”

To that I simply say, Amen.

What Miley Cyrus Taught Me About my First Year of Youth Ministry

I get in the car with my best friend, she turns her CD player on and smiles at me. “I’m going to see if you can tell who this is without me telling you.”

I know instantly. First because I do not live under a rock and can recognize Miley Cyrus’ voice. Second because I saw the Miley Cyrus CD sitting on the dresser in her room. This lead to a question and a realization:

Question: Do people still really buy physical CDs?

Photo Source

Realization: You cannot enter your first year of youth ministry like a wrecking ball.

Yes, this is proof I’m always thinking incredibly deep thoughts. And yes, you may be trying to tell me the song Wrecking Ball is about a relationship. While I am not recommending the song (and I especially do not recommend the music video), I do think the idea has some implications for youth ministry.

One of the things I was taught in college about starting a new ministry position was not to make changes in the first year. Especially not any major changes. In the first year, it cannot be about changing everything to make it “your own.” There is a huge difference between someone who comes in swinging and someone who comes in with the desire to learn.

I am starting my first youth ministry position. I am not saying I am not going to make mistakes because I probably will. I am not saying I am the perfect ministry position starter, because I know I am not. I do want to learn. I do want to build trust. I want to start well and when the time comes, I also want to finish well.

Starting a ministry position is similar to starting a relationship in some ways. First of all, your focus cannot be about making it your own, because it’s not just about you. The ministry does not belong to me; the ministry belongs to God. The first year is especially important for building trust with everyone. It is important to pick your battles, and it is important to know what hills to die on. This is the time to invite open dialog and listen to people.

As I am starting this position, I want to be intentional about asking these questions:

• Is the decision I make about something building trust or destroying trust?
• Am I listening more than speaking?
• Am I making all the changes myself or leading the group through change?

I was recently listening to The American Life. It was episode 513: 129 Cars, and they were following the story of a car dealership. One of the people working in the dealership, Manny, had worked there for a while, but he would not let the interviewer record him. Here’s part of the transcript from this episode (although I do recommend listening to the whole episode, which can be done here):

At one point, we found ourselves facing each other at his desk. He asked me if I had read the greatest book ever written about car sales. I don’t think so, I told him. What is it? The Art of War, he said, by Sun Tzu. Sun Tzu, as you maybe know, was a military general and strategist in ancient China. The Art of War is his magnum opus, where he lays out his tactics for how to succeed in conflict. And though Sun Tzu was writing about actual war, the book has become well known in business and sales circles. It’s kind of like the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, if that had been written in the fifth century BC on individual strips of bamboo. So I went to the bookstore and bought a copy, and then headed back to Town & Country.

Brian Reed

Manny, how are you, sir? Can I show you the homework I’ve been doing?

Manny Rosales

Please.

Brian Reed

I handed him my copy of The Art of War, which I’d marked up with notes about its relevance to car sales. I could see why Manny felt that it spoke to his profession. Lines like “draw them in with the prospect of gain,” “take them by confusion” seemed especially on point.

Manny Rosales

How far you are?

Brian Reed

I finished it.

Manny Rosales

You finish it? OK. I want to ask you a question. What did you learn?

Brian Reed

What have I learned? Well, I’m here to learn some more.

That’s a good lesson for my first year in youth ministry. Not only was Brian willing to listen, but he was able to gain respect. In my first year in youth ministry, I want to learn. I want to be a lifelong learner. On a small scale, this involves listening to what teenagers are reading and watching, showing an interest in their culture. On a larger scale, this involves learning their fears and goals and desires, what they are passionate about, and helping to equip and empower them.

For one of my classes in undergrad, we were required to read Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry by Doug Fields. This book has been around for a while, but it is still incredibly relevant for youth ministry. Fields includes his top ten essentials commitments in youth ministry.

Doug Field’s top ten youth ministry commitments:

1. I will move slowly.
2. I will regularly check my motives and evaluate my heart.
3. I will steer clear of the numbers game.
4. I will not criticize the past.
5. I will avoid the comparison trap.
6. I will focus on priorities.
7. I will pace myself.
8. I will serve.
9. I will be a learner.
10. I will pursue contentment.

As I am beginning my position, I also want these to be my essentials. I want to challenge teens to grow deeper in their faith, I want to empower teens to reach their full potential, I want to equip teens to serve, I want to love God and others, and I want to have an expectant spirit that God will move in the lives of the teens and community.

I Need Advent

Yes, 2012 was the year I celebrated the New Year releasing paper lanterns in Thailand and blew out my birthday candles surrounded by people I’d only known for two weeks in London. By comparison, 2013 seems a lot less exciting. However 2013 held many transitions. Graduating university, beginning seminary. Ending a job, interviewing for what felt like millions of jobs, hopefully beginning a new job soon. Many ten-hour road trips back and forth between Kansas and North Dakota. Celebrating several friends’ weddings.

Advent marks the beginning of the Christian calendar; Advent is our new year. I say goodbye to previous years and all the exciting (and sometimes, not so exciting) decisions and adventures.

And this new year reminds me just how much I need Advent.

I don’t need Advent because I need a new beginning, I need Advent because I need to be reminded about my purpose. Because, spider parasites.

Yes, this is where this post takes a weird turn.

Let that serve as your disclaimer. Maybe you should make sure you’ve eaten lunch already, because it’s about to get REAL.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit one of my favorites families in their new hometown. I was able to attend church with them last night as well. After church, my friend’s friend needed someone to come with her to her school where she is a junior high science teacher. So while she was recording grades, my friend and I were reading some science magazines.

There was an article about parasites. Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga is a Costa Rican parasitic wasp that attacks spiders. The female wasp finds a spider, paralyzes it, and lays an egg on its abdomen. Then once the larva hatches, the larva wasp feeds on its host. The spider is none the wiser.

Until a couple weeks later, the larva injects this chemical into the spider. Cue the song that’s all “So you had a bad day,” only ten million times worse. So the spider begins hardcore building a web, then it sits. Motionless. In its own web. The parasite then kills the spider via poison.¹

My friend desperately wanted to make this a sermon illustration, because that’s the plague of preachers, I suppose, wanting to turn everything into a sermon illustration. But she’s right. This is exactly what happens when we are on a slope leading us toward total purpose distortion. Alright, maybe not exactly exactly.

Your purpose probably won’t be distorted by a parasite laying larva on your abdomen*, but it is distorted when we continue our lives without reflection. It’s easy to forget our purpose and start building a web only to catch ourselves.

And that’s why I need Advent.

Advent serves as a reminder of who God is–Emmanuel. The very name reminds us: he’s with us. He became flesh and entered our brokenness. Because of the very in-breaking of the Kingdom of God, we have been saved and freed. Not so we could make a fuss over someone saying “Happy Holidays” over “Merry Christmas.” We are not just given freedom from sin, but freedom for one another. We are to stand together with the oppressed and hungry, those who are marginalized and mistreated.

If Advent is the question: “Where should I place my focus?” Christmas is the answer. Not only should I be longing for Christ’s return, but I should be focusing on Christ. I should be looking for ways to follow the command to love God and love others.

Advent reminds us who we are. We are not alone. We are not without hope. Advent reminds us what really matters. Advent reminds us to breathe in the moment. Advent reminds us to listen to ourselves, to others, to the world. Advent reminds us to open our eyes to the sacred all around us.

One the first Sunday in Advent, I was given the opportunity to preach. I shared that even though I love Advent, I’m not the best at Advent. I am not great at waiting. Remember how I read the entire plot of a book before I finish it? Well, last year at work, I received an Advent calendar with the little doors, each revealing a little piece of Swiss chocolate (yes, Swiss chocolate). I straight up ATE THEM ALL in one sitting because that was more practical than bringing a whole Advent calendar with me on a ten-hour drive.** So I told my church I’m not the best at waiting. If it were up to me, Christ would have returned already.

So why would I need a season that is categorized by waiting? Because it’s not a passive waiting.

Advent is about expectation.

In Advent, we are expectantly waiting for the coming of Christ. It’s about the restoration we will experience in his I Need Adventreturn. Advent is the reminder to look toward a story of a birth that changed everything. Advent is the reminder to pray, “Christ, be born in me.”

Advent is a reminder that our calling is to love each other. Advent reminds us to slow down, put our fists down and release the brokenness we’ve been clinging to so desperately. Advent is an invitation to holy ground.

Advent not only reminds me of my purpose, but it reminds me the story is not over. Advent’s message is one of beginnings. God is a God who makes all things new. Our purpose is to walk in hope and anticipation of what is coming. I need Advent to remind me that the past year was great, but I’m called to live with expectancy that God is doing greater things.

¹ http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/accounts/Hymenoepimecis_argyraphaga/

*I mean, let’s hope not. I am right?

**It may or may not have taken all that was within me not to make “NOM NOM NOM” noises from right up there behind the pulpit. But give me a little credit, I am a professional.

Why Youth Pastors Should Use Twitter

If you are in youth ministry, but you’re not on Twitter, you’re missing a big opportunity. You’re missing an opportunity to be informed, to inform, and most importantly, to connect. You’ve probably read that the rise in social media comes from our natural desire to connect. Sure, it’s influencing the way in which we connect. People are arguing it’s impacting us negatively. I agree it has really influenced the way in which we communicate and understand communication. That’s why I believe it’s more important than ever for you to use Twitter.

I used to have a classmate who said, “I think I have a Twitter, but I don’t use it.” This person had also never heard of Kid President, and my guess, has also yet to see the “What Does the Fox Say” video. By not knowing about and using Twitter, you are not only out of the loop, I question if you really love teen culture at all.

Yes, there are more Facebook users than Twitter users. I’ve noticed in my own life, I don’t use Facebook as often as I used to. I am a lot more active on Twitter and Instagram. Quite frankly, so are most teenagers. According to this article published on May 22, 2013¹:

“While Facebook is still deeply integrated in teens’ everyday lives, it is sometimes seen as a utility and an obligation rather than an exciting new platform that teens can claim as their own,” the report says.

According to that report, 24% of teens use Twitter.

According to a GlobalWebIndex Study, Twitter is the fastest growing social network in the world by active users. It had 44% growth from June 2012 to March 2013.²

Twitter is more than just telling people what you had for breakfast. However, if that’s what you are interested in doing, I recommend Instagram. My picture of a bowl of oatmeal has gotten more likes than almost anything else I’ve posted.

Since over-55s are the fastest growing demographic on Twitter, who knows if teens will move social media outlets once they feel like too many parents are following them. Until then, let’s make the most of the opportunity we have with Twitter.

Follow Your Teens

This should be obvious, but only follow them on Twitter if they don’t care if you are following them. It is a good way to see what they are talking about and interested it. I believe it’s very important to be well-aware of what’s happening in teen culture—not so you can imitate it, but so you can find ways to embrace it. One of the reasons more teens are using Twitter over Facebook is because they wanted to get away from their parents, so respect teens’ space. Don’t follow every teenager; try to follow teenagers you know a little better. Ask them if it’s alright to follow them. Honestly, they will probably forget you follow them, so they won’t censor what they say. In my opinion, unless it’s dangerous, don’t call them out on what they say on Twitter.

Follow Other Youth Pastors and Church Leaders

Not only does this help you connect with others, but this can provide a way to connect with great resources. If you live in a smaller town, you may not have the opportunity for a connection among local youth pastors. I am fortunate to be part of a denomination made of districts and regions, which allow for opportunities to connect. If you don’t have that, Twitter is a great way to start making connections. Follow people who post quality content and link to helpful articles and resources.

Tweet Announcements

Don’t have this be the only way you are getting announcements and information out there, but this is a great way to provide information. Since tweets are only 140 characters, this probably won’t contain all the information needed. It’s still a great way to provide information through several outlets. Not to mention it’s good to be reminding people of what’s coming up.

Enforce Points of Emphasis

It’s easy for teens to forget about a sermon or lesson right after they walk out of youth group. I love using tangible lessons and take-aways. Twitter allows you to tweet throughout the week points you preached or taught. This will re-enforce your key points. Consider using hashtags to connect with themed lessons. Your teens probably won’t start conversations with these hashtags (it’d be great if they did, but let’s be realistic), but I still believe hashtags are useful and beneficial.

Model Good Twitter Use

If teens don’t follow many adults (and if their parents are not on Twitter), but they happen to follow you on Twitter, you have a great opportunity. Don’t waste it! You don’t want to blow up people’s Twitter feeds (because then everyone will unfollow you in a second), but you are able to model good Twitter use. Retweet interesting, helpful, or encouraging tweets. Recognize this is an opportunity to build others up, not tear them down. Be aware of who is following you—don’t retweet crude tweets. Most importantly: just because you may be using Twitter to follow teens, does not mean you need to tweet like teens. Tweet like an adult. Use proper grammar. Yes, I realize you are limited to 140 characters, which means sometimes you have to be creative. However, it’s not worth saying if you have to substitute “u” for “you.”

It’s still totally okay for you to talk like a 90s kid and follow something up with #not.

Remember Your Words Matter

Sometimes it feels like we are not making a difference. But you are making a difference.

Honestly, I only remember a handful of sermons growing up in youth group. And I was the kid who took notes and paid attention (I’m still the person who listens to sermons in my free time for fun). I remember random snippets from sermons or conversations with my youth pastor. I do know this: the negative words stick with me. I may not remember the exact words of encouragement, but I needed them.

I don’t know who is following you on twitter or reading your 140-character nugget of wisdom, but whatever you put out there on the internet becomes your indelible footprint in the interweb world. It makes a different. I have this app on my phone called Timehop that shows me what I wrote on Twitter and Facebook in prior years. I said ridiculous stuff as a freshman in college, let me tell you. It doesn’t go away that easily. I want my footprint to be filled with helpful words and encouragement.

Annie Downs has a lot to say about speaking love in her book, Speak Love. She writes:

“Be the [one] who speaks life. Not the one who wounds.”

Note on Hashtags:

I often use hashtags ironically. It’s the twenty-something within me; what can I say? However, the purpose of hashtags is to connect to others who are talking about the same thing. Also: don’t use punctuation in your hashtags. It breaks it apart and totally defeats the purpose. Also, you will only look ridiculous. #dothis #don’tdothis

While part of me desires us to all begin talking in hashtags, I realize we would look like this.

Which, while hilarious, is also pretty ridiculous.

Tweet smart.

¹http://www.geekwire.com/2013/pew-report-teens-facebook-twitter-instagram/

²https://www.globalwebindex.net/twitter-now-the-fastest-growing-social-platform-in-the-world/

Why Preaching Advent Matters

Growing up, I remember Advent candles. Honestly, that’s about all I remember. I can’t remember learning what the Advent candles meant. I remember Christmas countdowns, but I probably would not have called them Advent calendars.

Does Advent matter?

While each time I receive the Eucharist through intinction it’s meaningful for me, I cannot instantly make it meaningful for you. While the Christian calendar has done so much to inform the way I understand God’s story and mine, I cannot make it impact your life simply by introducing it. So part of me is hesitant because I don’t want to become a stickler for why we do what we do. I’m afraid we have used the word “intentional” so much it has lost its meaning.

I am convinced that Advent matters because it shapes and forms us. (I’m also convinced that celebrating the Eucharist and the whole Christian calendar shapes and forms us, but this is the first Sunday of Advent, so one battle at a time.)

The word advent means “coming.” We are living between two advents—Christ’s first arrival as a baby and Christ’s second coming. This is the season to remember how we first met God as Immanuel, God with us. It is a season to prepare our hearts expectantly for Christ’s return. We are eagerly anticipating the time when God will establish his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

If our only idea of Advent is that it’s just a countdown to Christmas, we are doing something wrong. That’s why preaching Advent matters.

And, honestly, Advent isn’t always easy, but maybe that’s exactly why we need it.

Advent is a paradox. Preachers stand behind pulpits preaching messages of joy and hope. We preach messages of lions who will lie down with lambs and how victory is defined as self-sacrifice. We pronounce promises to the poor as we center our worship on peace and love.

Commercials and store windows tell us preparation for Christmas is finding the perfect gift. Maybe if we turn up the Christmas music we will forget all the consumer guilt we rack up. Fortunately, Advent reminds us to live into a counter-narrative.

Even as I’m eager to order coffee from Starbucks so I can instagram my red cup, I want to pull away from the consumerism tug. I want to feel the joy, but then I turn on the news and see wars and sickness. There’s brokenness and anger even next door, even in my own heart.

Yet tomorrow I’ll stand behind the pulpit and preach about this other reality. The one of transforming hope. The one of a Kingdom that has come in Christ. The one where darkness is overcome by light and death is not the end.

Preaching Advent matters because each week we draw closer to the truth that Christmas means more than gift wrap and apple cider. We preach that something is coming, something that will change us. As we prepare for that coming, we are slowly changed. We are expectant. We are hopeful.

We preach of a peaceful world where we are whole, but it’s not a world we have fully experienced. Not yet. We are still waiting.

“There are moments in this season when I don’t feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent. Advent gives us another option beyond false Christmas cheer or Scrooge. Advent says the baby is coming, but he isn’t here yet, that hope is on its way, but the yearning is still very real. Sometimes, depending on what we’ve lost this year, Advent saves us from giving up on Christmas and all its buoyant twinkling-light hope forever. Advent allows us to tell the truth about what we’re grieving, without giving up on the gorgeous and extravagant promise of Christmas, the baby on his way.” – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

That’s why when we preach Advent, we cannot forget it’s a time of waiting. We need to talk about the darkness. Christmas is coming, but that does not mean things are instantly made right. Advent allows us an opportunity to speak into the reality of brokenness in our world. We need to make space for them. If we don’t, people will feel isolated. Advent gives us space for honesty.

Sometimes in Advent we are sitting in the waiting. Even still, God has already come and is with us.

Preaching Advent matters because preachers need to be the voices in the wilderness crying out. We need to be the ones preparing the way for the Lord.

I need Advent to reorient myself to what matters. Preaching Advent matters because we need to reorient ourselves as a community. Even though we may be sitting in darkness together, we are pointing to the light that is coming and to heaven breaking through.

Being a Jesus Feminist: The Story I Didn’t Know My Life was Telling

I am a Jesus Feminist, but I never realized it. Maybe I just never wanted to name it. Maybe it was never a label I wanted to wear. But now? Just hand over the “My name is…” stickers.

I haven’t read Sarah Bessey’s book, Jesus Feminist, yet. But I already know I recommend reading it. Why? Because it’s a conversation worth having.

What the what, you might be thinking. I’m not about this feminist stuff, so PEACE OUT. If that is the case with you, I invite you to stick around. Perhaps you’ll find you can learn from someone different than you. However, it would probably be helpful if you started here: Jesus feminism. Then, while you are out and about the internet, read stories from others. I am little late to the party, but I am joining the synchroblog party.

I.

I was raised in a small town in North Dakota. Lightning didn’t strike and nothing caught on fire, but I felt God’s nudging me toward a call to ministry. Even though I was born and raised in small town, conservative America where hard work and traditional roles are the norm, I never thought I was limited. I became part of the Church of the Nazarene, which is fortunately a denomination that allows and supports women in ministry. I had yet to read the statistics and research that it’s not always easy for a women to be hired in a church within a denomination that supports women in ministry. I was hopeful and optimistic. Maybe there’s some sort of genetic connection between all people named Annie where we are all singing, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

My home church raised me and supported me. They allowed me opportunities to preach. Seriously, how many churches allow sixteen-year-old females the chance to preach? Not even just for special services, but for regular Sunday morning services. To say I’m thankful doesn’t sum it up. My senior pastor continues to support and encourage me. Never once did he appear to consider the fact I couldn’t be a pastor because I’m a female. So I never did either.

I’m a Jesus Feminist because I never knew there was any other way of looking at things. I’m a Jesus Feminist because when I was young, I assumed everyone was.

II.

Freshman year my college roommate told me she didn’t believe women should be in ministry.

“You do know I’m a ministry major, right?” I asked. She did.

She clarified that she was fine with me being in ministry because I just wanted to be a youth pastor. Had I wanted to become a senior pastor, she openly told me she thinks that would be stupid. She is bold and opinionated. I love her, but we never agree. She told me females are too emotional to have as much responsibility as a senior pastor does.

Even thinking about being a Jesus Feminist makes me imagine her face cringe as she hears the word “feminist.” She gets annoyed by female sport commentators, so what about female preachers? The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had never met a women senior pastor before I was in college. In my church growing up, I never saw other women preaching or even collecting the offering. I always saw women in the kitchen helping with potlucks or in the nursery with the babies. Where’s the balance? My rooommate may be opinionated, but maybe her church never modeled what it could look like for women to be in ministry.

I’m a Jesus Feminist because it needs to be modeled. I’m a Jesus Feminist because I have a voice.

III.

I was sitting in class–Introduction to Youth and Family Ministry–during a discussion on women in ministry. One of my peers next to me could not get through talking without crying. She shared her hurt of growing up in Small Town, Missouri never feeling accepting or supported as a woman in ministry. She carried both her Vera Bradley backpack and her scars of rejection into class that day.

I rarely spoke up in class, though my professor got on my case about that until the day I graduated. It was a small class with a surprisingly even ratio of males to females. That day I did say something, though undoubtedly because I knew as a female, I was expected to give my two cents. So I mentioned I did not think we needed to take time in class to discuss women in ministry because it was not that much of an issue.

As you continue to learn, you learn how little you know.

I’m a Jesus Feminist because I should have been an advocate for my classmate who has been burned by the Church.

IV.

It’s the day before my interview with a church board. I’m having coffee with the pastor. He tells me one of the board members does not believe women should be in ministry.

I’m stunned. I guess I didn’t realize we were living in Back to the Future, and we are in the 1950s. Sarcasm may not be the best response.

What about the words of Jesus? What kind of example of the Kingdom of God are we setting?

I stopped asking theological questions and begin asking, “Do I measure up? Maybe they don’t want women in ministry because I’m not good enough.” I begin to doubt myself. I began to wonder if I was less than.

I’ve heard the way some people preach about the women in the Bible. They speak about them as though they are the only broken ones and the only sinners because some are prostitutes. When I read the Bible, I see them as the faithful ones and the ones longing to be seen. I see them as the humble ones, pouring perfume on Jesus’ feet because they were able to see beyond the dogma and see Truth is a person.

I’m a Jesus Feminist because it’s the way I am able to reclaim my worth. I’m a Jesus Feminist because I cannot read Scripture faithfully without being a Jesus Feminist.

V.

As part of my graduation requirements, I met with one of my professors to do an exit counseling of sorts. It was mainly to provide feedback about the program, but it covered a variety of questions. My professor just listened and typed our answers. He would read them back to clarify any questions. I don’t remember if it was one of the planned questions or a question raised from what I was saying, but I remember him asking if I felt any difficulties being a woman getting ready to enter ministry. Maybe I am naive, but I told him, “Honestly, when it comes to ministry, I don’t see myself a female.”

It’s not like that I see myself as a male, but I don’t see the difference. I am educated and qualified. It’s not like I’m blind to gender. I know I am female, but I’m not less than because of that fact. I am coming to realize the world is not going to hand out affirmations. It has not always been easy. I haven’t even been considered for positions because I’m a single female.

Ultimately, I am hopeful. I’m hopeful because we serve a God who sees us even while we are in the desert.

I’m a Jesus Feminist because I believe that’s the only way we can faithfully live out the Gospel.

Make sure to check out Sarah Bessey’s book.

Also don’t forget: check out the other synchroblog entries here!